Saturday, January 30, 2010

Tears Are The Proof of Life


"How long will the pain last?" a broken-hearted mourner asked me.
"All the rest of your life," I answered truthfully. No matter how many years pass, we remember. The loss of a loved one is like a major operation; part of us is removed, and we have a scar for the rest of our lives.
This doesn't mean that the pain continues at the same intensity. There is a short while, at first, when we hardly believe it. It is rather like when we have cut our hand, we see the blood flowing, but the pain has not yet set in. So when we are bereaved, there is a short while before the pain hits us. But when it does, it is massive in its effect. Grief is shattering.
Then the wound is healed, so to speak, the stitches are taken out….
The scar is still there, and the scar tissue, too. As the years go by, we manage. But the pain is still there, not far below the surface. We see a face that looks familiar, hear a voice that has echoes, see a photograph in someone's album, and it is as though the knife were in the wound again.
But not so painfully. And mixed with joy, too. Because remembering a happy time is not all sorrow; it brings back happiness with it.
"How long will the pain last?"
All the rest of your life. But the thing to remember is that not only the pain will last, but the blessed memories as well. Tears are the proof of life. The more love, the more tears. If this be true, then how could we ever ask that the pain cease altogether. For then the memory of love would go with it. The pain of grief is the price we pay for love.

colours of life


Precisely at 3:13 am, as if called to re-write a blog that is almost two weeks I left.Just recovered from dengue fever.I suffered along the displaced in the hospital, there i realized how high the capital against love.I'm trying very hard to hide the pain but the instinct of a mother heart never wrong.She knows I am suffering.

It is true what was said by the wise-smooth, loyalty in friendship and brotherhood will only be proven when we are suffering distress or pain. Throughout I displaced in the hospital, who are always be by my side? Friends? Where? Officemate? No, but my mother. Kepada sidia, aku faham, kau telah banyak berkorban untuk ku. To the loved one, I understand, you have to sacrifice a lot to me.Conditions, distance and time have forced you not to come. I understand.

Kulayari laman facebook, tapi tak ada apa-apa yang menarik untuk aku coretkan disitu
kecuali lagu ini :

When you get caught in the rain with no where to run
When you're distraught and in pain without anyone

when you keep crying out to be saved
but nobody comes
And you feel so far away
That you just can't find your way home
You can get there alone
It's okay, what you say is

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And I know that I'm strong enough to mend
And everytime I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day and I make it through the rain

And if you keep falling down don't you dare give in
You will arise safe and sound, so keep pressing on steadfastly
And you'll find what you need to prevail
What you say is

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And I know that I'm strong enough to mend
And everytime I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day and I'll make it through the rain

And when the rain blows, as shadows grow close don't be afraid
There's nothing you can't face
And should they tell you you'll never pull through
Don't hesitate, stand tall and say-ay-yeah-yeah-hey-ey

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And I know that I'm strong enough to mend
And everytime I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day and I make it through the rain

I can make it through the rain
And stand up once again
And I live one more day
And I can make it through the rain
Oh, yes you can)
Ohh, You're gonna make it through the ... rain

Friday, January 15, 2010

Angle brought me here...


It's been a long and winding journey, but i'm finally here tonight
Picking up the pieces, walking back into the light
Into the sunset of your glory, where my heart and future lies
There's nothing like that feeling, when i look into your eyes...

My dreams came true, when i found you
I found you, my miracle...

If you could see, what i see, that you're the answer to my prayers
And if you could feel, the tenderness i feel
You would know, it would be clear, that angels brought me here...

Standing here before you, feels like i've been born again
Every breath is your love, every heartbeat speaks your name...

My dreams came true, right here in front of you
My miracle...

If you could see, what i see, you're the answer to my prayers
And if you could feel, the tenderness i feel
You would know, it would be clear, that angels brought me here...

Brought me here to be with you,
I'll be forever grateful (oh forever Faithful)
My dreams came true
When I found you
My miracle...

If you could see, what i see, you're the answer to my prayers
And if you could feel, the tenderness i feel
You would know, it would be clear, that angels brought me here...
Yes they brought me here...
If you could feel, the tenderness i feel...
You would know, it would be clear, that angels brought me here...

Love is not weak but teach us the strength to raise...not degrade ourselves but prowess exhale and not weaken the spirit of love, but raise one's life.

We need a minute to attracted to someone, an hour to like someone, a day to love someone but it takes a lifetime to forget someone you love.

Pain betrayed, deceived, and being cheated is more severe pain from beatings or any physical pain because it will remain forever.

What is frustration? It is something that involves the heart and feelings. When disappointed hearts can be equated as the glass crashed to the stone. Disintegrated without can be cured.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Syukur

Pukul 6.30 pagi aku terjaga,"syahrul bangun sembahyang suboh, hang kata nak pi medical checkup hari ni kan. Tapi bawak mak pi klinik dulu tau". Suara itu tidak pernah jemu mengejutkan ku setiap pagi. Dan suara itu lah yang akan terus aku rindui sampai akhirat. Aku berjalan malas dan terus membersihkan diri seraya sujud kepada yang maha Esa. Sementara menunggu mak aku sms 'sidia' dan seperti 'sidia' tak pernah jemu memberi semangat dan kata-kata dorongan buatku. Aku tersenyum.

Alhamdulillah semua selesai...dan esok aku akan memulakan detik baru dialam pekerjaan..bermula satu lagi cabaran untukku...INSYAALLAH aku akan berjaya...
berkat doa ibu, dorongan kawan-kawan dan 'sidia' aku tak akan gagal lagi

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Faith

Journey of life is so far and live long, like the adventurous there is no end, i'm standing here at the junction of roads which will choose my direction..Life is a journey fulls of challenges and unexpected...Test all the strength, faith and patience, in the adventure full of thorns...I believe in the greatness of Allah... Allah is great...Allah knows the world hereafter

Night & Morning


Night And Morning

The morning sits outside afraid
Until my mother draws the shade;

Then it bursts in like a ball,
Splashing sun all up the wall.

And the evening is not night
Until she's tucked me in just right
And kissed me and turned out the light.

Oh, if my mother went away
Who would start the night and day?

Life

The journey of life begun
That fateful day I was born
My eyes opened up blissfully to the sun
My soul, heart and brain emerged as one
Behold my journey had begun!

This little child in time has grown
Yes! Time has flown, time has flown
A lot has been learnt on my very own

Life has been a mystifying journey
With every up and down
With tears and laughter
With hate and love
With stupidity and wisdom
With enemies and friends
But even in my journey of frustration
I have found a means of celebration
In my toilsome exploration to my fateful destination

Tick tock, the clock goes on
Minute by minute, then hourly
Month by month then yearly
Tick tock, and in my journey
I have searched, questioned and answered
Whilst walking painfully along many paths
Sometimes requesting protection
Seeking from above immunization
When hit by obstacles in locations

But I am still on this journey
Shaking hands with the sad and merry
My passion for life which was once raw
Is now confined within the Almighty’s law
For life's journey itself never ends
Once you have reached the end of each road
Uplifting off your entire cloggy load
Be it in a hot summer or a winter’s cold
Behold! A new journey will unfold
Pukul 7 pagi aku keluar hantar adik ku ketempat kerja. Today is the 13th day aku tidak bekerja. Penat...gelisah dan bermacam-macam perasaan lagi bercampur baur dalam benak kepala hotak aku ni, BOSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN...

Tiba-tiba tepat pukul 2.30 aku dapat call.. tak tahu nak cakap atau nak gambar kan apa yang aku rasa waktu tu hanya ALLAH yang tahu

Sunday, January 10, 2010

New day begin

Aku memulakan sesi pertama pengajianku untuk semester ini. Semoga Allah memberkati perjalanan hidupku, memperkenankan doa-doaku agar memberi keampunan dan kebahagian kepada semua yang berada dekat dihatiku. Kepada si dia...aku tak pernah lupa mendoakan kebahagiaan dan kejayaanmu.

Difficult to understand...why my heart in this...the voices that still whisper smoothly and surprise me from a dream that i will not continue to forget about what will happen tomorrow...Is there tomorrow for me...Only Allah knows...

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Welcome 2010

Welcome to 2010 and goodbye 2009. 2009 left a thousand stories of grief and love and also the memories will remain strong in the folds of memory. All bitter and sweet memories have made me more resilient to face a more challenging future. Know someone has made my life more meaningful and knowing that 'someone' is also among the most beautiful memories that never happened in my life. I hope it will continue to remain. Although sometimes this relationship became somewhat tense once in a while, but it is a challenge in every relationship. And what is important in every relationship should be based on honesty, sincerity and selfless. Enough talking about it because there are many challenges that must be faced in 2010. I believe God is still with me as long as I backed trusted him. And God will not forget for those who seek help and forgiveness. Yesterday is memories...today is the fact...and tomorrow is a struggle...I pray fo those is close to my heart will find a glorious ray of success. Enough so far for this time and hope that tomorrow I am still breathing to write more about my life experiences that will come

New year 2010

Goodbye 2009 and welcome 2010. Various and unexpected obstacles that I faced in 2009. I nearly collapsed and almost despair but Alhamdulillah Allah still loves me and he gaves me the strength to continue living with the new hope and spirit.In 2009 left a million experience bitter, sweet and sometimes painful. Know someone who gives a thousand sweetness in my life. Sincerely, identify that 'someone" is among the most beautiful experience and it is hoped will continue to beautiful. It is I admit, bitter experience taught me to be more mature, patient and appreciate life, respect others and appreciate the grace that has been lent by God. And I truly believe what is happening each have learned from that implied.